Being assertive means doing what you need to do in order to get your needs met. It doesn’t necessarily mean confrontation, getting angry, being aggressive. It means taking care of yourself. This is true for all relationships–not just the intimate ones of family and friends.
I haven’t written for a very long time and, usually, I don’t share personal circumstances. However, I recently had experiences that confirmed for me, again, the importance of being assertive, not aggressive, when it means taking care of myself, and I want to share them with you.
I had occasion to be in a rehab facility after undergoing some major surgery. I have special dietary needs which were not being met. At first, I decided not to say anything. However, I began to feel ill, and realized I had to say something to get my needs met. It was quite a process because some of the people didn’t want to listen nor hear. I was persistent, however, and eventually they realized that I wasn’t going to give up, and I got what I needed.
My message to you is if taking care of yourself means being assertive, don’t give up, whether it be with a partner, friend, your doctor, the plumber–anyone. If you don’t know how, you can learn. If you’re afraid of hurting someone’s feelings, you can tell her/him that that is not your intention and this is what you need. Feeling empowered builds your self-esteem and contributes to feelings of self-worth.
Have you ever experienced this kind of situation–and few of us haven’t? I’d very much like to hear your comments and experiences. If you need help in learning to take care of yourself, I’d be very happy to meet with you. Please feel free to call me at 415-474-6707 or email me at email@example.com. I look forward to hearing from you.