Is anger bad, scary, powerful, forbidden, masculine?

Most of us have been taught to associate anger with the adjectives listed above, and these are difficult words to eliminate from our heads. There is actually nothing wrong with feeling anger. Anger is a very powerful emotion which can be used in either a positive or negative way. It can empower us to achieve our goals or impede and distract us. As with other emotions, anger, by itself is neither good nor bad, it just IS. It is what we DO with our feelings, including anger,our behaviors, that can uplift us or damage us. Thus, the more we become aware of our emotions, the more options we have.


1.  Acknowledge that you are feeling angry.

2.Tune into your body sensations: Blood pounding; Teeth clenched; Jaw tight; Breath rapid.

3. Begin to focus on your breath, saying “in” and “out” as you inhale and exhale.

4. Be aware that anger can give you important information about your beliefs and feelings.

5. Take a time out or weigh another possible appropriate action that will allow you to deal with your anger.

6. After being honest with yourself and accepting responsibility for your anger, congratulate yourself on handling your anger in a positive and life-affirming way.

I am very interested in hearing from you about how you deal with anger and how it impacts on your relationships.  I look forward to your comments.  If you’d like to talk with me about any of this, I’d be delighted to talk with you.  You can reach me at 415-474-6707 or email to

Thanks for reading.


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