Did you know that what you feel outside the bedroom influences what you feel, and, more importantly, what you do inside the bedroom?

The following article taken from the BBC discusses the relationship between our emotional intelligence and our sexual responses. Our emotional intelligence is not the same thing as our mental intelligence. Emotions have to do with how we’re feeling and there are many more emotions than just mad, glad, bad or sad. Our feelings, whether we’re aware of them or not, are always a part of our behavior, and not just our sexual behavior. Therefore, it is very important to be aware of what we’re feeling so that we have more options and choices about what we do.

Emotional intelligence ‘aids sex’

Women who are more “emotionally intelligent” get greater pleasure from sex, research on twins suggests. A study of more than 2,000 female twins showed that those with greater emotional intelligence had larger numbers of orgasms.

These women were better able to monitor their own and others’ feelings and emotions, which is key, say the King’s College London investigators.
Their findings appear in The Journal of Sexual Medicine.

“ Most women, and men for that matter, will have this problem at some stage in their life ” Paula Hall, a sexual psychotherapist for Relate.
All of the 2,035 participants completed questionnaires giving details of their sexual behaviour and performance and also answered questions designed to test their emotional intelligence.

The research found a significant association between emotional intelligence and the frequency of orgasm during masturbation and intercourse.

Professor Tim Spector, director of the Twin Research Department at King’s College London and co-author of the study, said: “These findings show that emotional intelligence is an advantage in many aspects of your life including the bedroom.

“This study will help enormously in the development of behavioural and cognitive therapies to improve women’s sexual lives.”

In tune
Up to a third of women find it difficult or impossible to reach a climax during sex.

Lead author Andrea Burri said: “Emotional intelligence seems to have a direct impact on women’s sexual functioning by influencing her ability to communicate her sexual expectations and desires to her partner.”

She added that there was a possible connection with a woman’s ability to fantasise during sex or her feeling of control over the act.

Paula Hall, a sexual psychotherapist for Relate, said: “Emotional intelligence is most important in terms of overcoming problems.

“Most women, and men for that matter, will have this problem at some stage in their life. It’s often situational – you are tired or stressed or having relationship problems, for example.

“It’s not just about technique and the environment being right.

“If you are aware of your own emotions and can identify the issues and communicate them, you are more likely to be able to resolve the difficulty.”

Story from BBC NEWS:
Published: 2009/05/12 06:17:33 GMT

I hope that you might find this enlightening, and I look forward to any comments you might have.

Warmly,
Zora

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